Sunday, January 31, 2010

Wait, what's your name again?

One of my biggest fears is that people won't like me as much as I like them. Looks like he did a number on me.

I'll meet someone and be amazed at how well we got along, or how well I thought we got along. Then I'll walk away wondering why I never got her name or his number. That cliche line of "Did I do something wrong?" starts taking affect and I begin scrutinizing what I said...what I didn't say. It's discouraging. You find someone that you really think you could be friends with and then they don' you.

Then I start to wonder..."Maybe I should just..." But no. I don't want to be annoying. Nothing worse than a pest. I hate that kind of internal dialogue. The kind that complicates and mucks up everything. "The ball is in their court." Mental tennis matches drive me mad.

I wish I could say that I didn't care. I envy the thick-skinned. The social butterflies that can make up for lost friends in the blink of an eye.

I suppose I just don't like being the expendable crewman. Lost in space and forgotten in three minutes.